Beginning to Heal Body-Image with Body Neutrality

I have never met a person who was satisfied with their body as it was right at that very second. Particularly among women I work with in my psychotherapy practice, I hear complaints, self-deprecating comments, and how something they are doing related to food, exercise, or anything else just isn’t quite right.

Instead of purely enjoying a dessert or other decadent and delicious food, we often say, “I shouldn’t be eating this.” Why can’t we just say, “This tastes amazing, I love it so much!” This often comes from internalized beliefs about food, and patterns of restrictive diets that lead to food guilt and shame. When given a compliment about an outfit, I often hear it thrown back with a negative, self-rejecting comment, like, “If only I were five (or more) pounds lighter, it would look better.” I hear, “I should be exercising more. I should be eating healthier.” I should, I should, I should… Why is this? Why do so many women hate their bodies and struggle with body-image most of their lives? Why do so many women put so much pressure on themselves to look like what society has deemed to be beautiful, attractive, hot, and sexy?

For those who struggle with emotional eating, disordered eating, or an eating disorder, body-image tends to be the last layer to heal. For so many people, body-image is deeply entrenched and entangled with emotional eating. The long-standing history of feeling less than because of their physical body is old, deeply rooted, and very difficult to shift. Learning how to practice body neutrality allows it to become more possible to shift into gratitude for our bodies, and eventually, maybe even lead to body positivity. Mindfulness, particularly the element of nonjudgment, is essential in this work of true self, and body acceptance in mind, body, and spirit.

So what is body neutrality and how does it help with healing body-image? Body neutrality is a mindfulness practice that creates a neutralizing impact on our relationship with our bodies. Mindfulness is paying attention from moment to moment with a nonjudgemental awareness. Mindfulness allows us to recognize and release judgement in a way that can be neutralizing and have a profound emotional impact. Body neutrality as a mindfulness exercise allows us to focus on facts and functions versus size, shape, judgements, and emotions. When I walk my clients through the process of body neutrality, often there are areas of their body that they struggle with to get to a place of neutrality, however, with time, practice, and more practice, they often find it is indeed possible to accept, and even to love their bodies.

Body neutrality is an exercise that first I have people do in their minds eye. I talk them through each area of their body and encourage them to neutralize any judgements, and consider a fact and/or a function about each body part. For instance, if someone doesn’t like an aspect of their nose, rather than focusing on the judgement or emotion around their nose, can they name a fact, it's this particular shape, it’s in the middle of my face, it has a bridge and nostrils… and so on. And then can they name a function, I use my nose to breathe and to smell. Once we get to a place of neutrality consistently, most people notice a decrease in their self-judgement and emotional distress when experiencing their body.

Then, if possible, we search for gratitude. Is it possible to be grateful for your nose, just as it existing is in this moment? Can you experience feeling your nose in space? If so, experiencing their nose from a space of nonjudgement and gratitude, it often begins to continue to shift from discomfort to neutrality, and then over time, maybe even positivity—although this is not the goal, just a possible outcome. I encourage you to try this practice, to observe your body in your mind’s eye as a whole, and just see if you can be present with your body as the container that lovingly holds you, in this moment, just as it is. Then slowly move through your head and face, neck and shoulders, arms and hands, torso, hips, legs and feet. With each part of your body, consider a fact and/or a function. Notice how that feels. If an emotion or judgement comes in, notice it and let it go. If possible, see if you can offer gratitude to each part as you go through the exercise, not to force it, just to see what occurs.

When practiced consistently over time, body neutrality can transform your relationship with your body, as well as with yourself.

Spring Cleaning for Mind, Body, & Spirit

I recently saw this quote by Marie Condo, “The objective of cleaning is not just to clean, but to feel happiness living in that environment.” I was so inspired I not only decided to create a webinar based on this topic and start writing this blog post, I started seeing mental and emotional cleansing as opportunities to feel happier within my own internal environment. With my background in art, psychology, yoga, and health coaching, I am drawn to inner exploration, personal growth, and healing. I love learning about and doing things that allow me to feel mentally and emotionally more grounded, at ease, and healthier in mind, body, and spirit.

The spring equinox arrives on Tuesday, March 19th this year. Season changes are always a wonderful time to reflect and prepare. As you reflect, you can begin to clear out the clutter and cobwebs from the winter that have lodged themselves within your psyche, your body, and your spirit. Preparing for any changes you’d like to welcome in with the spring season will help inspire the new growth you desire to welcome into your life. Spring represents renewal, color, growth, life, and optimism. I wanted to explore and offer some ways to welcome in the spring season in a way that allows you to lighten your load from the winter, so that your inner environment can feel happier.

Breathing Practices

The breath is our most powerful tool for healing. It’s something we always have with us, it’s a reminder that we are alive. Breathing is an automatic process in our body that will continue to go on whether or not we are paying attention to it. When we do bring our breath into our direct awareness, we can positively impact, and communicate with our nervous system, and therefore all of the systems of our bodies. There is a saying in yoga, the nose is for breathing and the mouth is for eating. Most of the time we want to breathe in and out through our nose. However, there are some practices that are used while exhaling through the mouth, but only while engaging in those specific practices. Here are some cleansing practices that will help you spring clean your mind, body, and spirit through the power of your breath.

• Ujjayi Breathing: Breathe in through your nose, slowly and deeply, open your mouth and exhale as if you were attempting to fog a mirror, let the exhale continue in that way slowly until you complete your exhale. Repeat for one minute with your mouth closed for the exhales. This breathing practice is cleansing, and brings a deeper connection to the present moment. It also builds a little heat in your body, so it has an energizing effect as well.

• Lion’s Breath: Breathe in through your nose until your abdomen and lungs are full, pause, open your mouth, stick out your tongue, look up, and exhale. If you like, you can add curling your fingers in claw shapes as you exhale energetically. This breath is deeply cleansing, and releases stress from your mind and body.

• So-Hum Breath: Breathe in through your nose, exhale through your nose, with your normal breathing rhythm. Allow your breathing rhythm to become calming and serene. Say “So” in your mind as you inhale, and “Hum” in your mind as you exhale. Continue for 1-5 minutes. This is one of the most simple mantras you can use and it offers connection to the present moment. This practice calms the mind and the body. This breathing practice naturally dissipates stress, tension, and discomfort. When your mind wanders, which it will, gently, with compassion, bring your mind back to the mantra, “so, hum” with each inhale and each exhale.

Journal Prompts

Journaling is another wonderful tool to help clear mental clutter, process your inner world of emotions, and offer a place for your psyche to rest. A journal is a container that can hold, separate you from, and provide relief for the inner workings of your mind. Taking time to process your feelings, keep a log of your day, write down what you are grateful for, log your challenges, your wins, what went well, what you need support around etc… can all be deeply healing for your mind, body, and spirit. Journaling allows you to feel connected to yourself, your intuition, and it invites your soul to speak. Here are few journaling prompts that can support clearing the clutter of your mind, body, and spirit.

• When you look ahead to the spring season, what seeds do you want to plant within yourself? This could be a goal, a hope, a plan, a new positive internal belief, just write for 1-5 minutes from a stream of consciousness, anything that comes to mind.

• Take a moment to reflect back, thinking about the past couple of months, has something blocked you, or stood in your way to move towards what you want? If so, how can you reconcile that now in your mind and body so that you can begin to move forward? 

• Reflect on any patterns of self-sabotage all throughout your life. Not to be unkind to yourself, but to look for one way you can disrupt this pattern to ensure it does not cause harm to the seeds you’d like to plant for yourself moving forward. Examples could be, doing more daily reflection with self-awareness, working with a therapist to heal these old patterns, doing more of anything that creates more confidence and trust within yourself. 

• Now imagine, how you will provide these seeds with nourishment? How will you help them grow? How will you ensure that they will be cared for as they sprout, and blossom? Write out all of the ways you will care for these seeds that you’ve planted and commit to their growth within your mind, body, and spirit.

• Write out anything else you’d like to clear from your mind, body, and spirit as you ease into the spring.

After your do this journaling, commit to spending time with the seeds you’ve planted within yourself. Keep a daily and/or weekly reflection log asking, how did I nourish the seeds I’ve planted of my intentions for the spring today? Consistency is key. Believe in your ability to grow what you desire within your life, ask for support and help if you need it, and show up for yourself fully and compassionately.

Self-Affirming Statement Creation

Having a helpful affirmation can offer hope, a reminder, and way of shifting out of the old patterns and beliefs, creating new, more useful ones. When you think about what you’d like to cultivate within your life as you ease into spring, what simple statement would help you re-anchor into the present moment. Think about a statement that will support you to move forward rather than being pulled down into past patterns. Take a moment and brainstorm all of the affirmations that come to mind, and then say them all out loud. Which one resonates with you the most? Write it down, set it as a reminder in your phone to pop up daily, practice saying it consistently, use it as a mantra. This statement will always be available to remind you of your desired outcome and reconnect you to the seeds you’ve planted within. Take it with you, use it to nourish these seeds, and your mind, body, and spirit. 

Visualization

Visualizing what you want is a helpful practice when cultivating the garden of what you want to create and grow within yourself. Our brain is essentially a recording of everything we’ve known, seen, and done up to this point in time. It will always return to default mode, especially if there are lingering negative, limiting, internalized beliefs. It will also return to default mode when we are living mindlessly from day to day. When you visualize what you want, you are offering your brain a new template, a new way of seeing things, a new way to be. This allows you to practice, to rehearse within your mind, new ways of being and offer options for your future self. Visualization is amazing and powerful work.

When visualizing, it is helpful to be comfortable, relaxed, and at ease within your mind and body. Take a moment to steady your breath, letting it become calming and serene. Allow your body to relax, easing the space between your eyebrows, unhinging your jaw, and softening around your shoulders, hips, knees, and ankles. Now bring to mind this seed you’d like to plant within your psyche, your mind, your body, your heart, and your whole being, as we ease into spring. Begin to see the daily practice of watering it, feeding it, growing it, nourishing it, nurturing it, see what all of these offerings look like. Now see yourself attaining the blossoms or fruit it’s bearing, how it will impact your life, how you will feel, really allow these feelings to sink into your being. Hold the image for as long as feels right. Bring in your self-affirming statement and repeat it in your mind to strengthen this image, for as long as feels right. Now allow the image to sink into your heart space, and hold it there for a breath, knowing you can bring this imagery forward to return to hope, self-trust, and inspiration to take consistent action any time you need to. As it fades, smile, and say to yourself, “and so it is.”

I hope these practices offer you support to believe in yourself, to trust yourself, and to allow hope and compassion to lead you forward into a healing, resourced, and healthy spring season. Practice letting go daily of what you no longer need, practice breathing, journaling, and visualization to guide you forward. You deserve to live a life filled with compassion, hope, inspiration, and joy. 

Creating a Year of Enchantment

When was the last time you felt enchanted? When experiencing enchantment, you’re filled with delight, you’re drawn towards the image, the item or the experience, and it creates a great feeling of pleasure. When you are enchanted you are captivated, fascinated, and inspired. 

If you’ve spent some time reflecting back on 2023, have you considered what brought you a feeling of enchantment in this past year? If not, take a look back and ask yourself, how often did I feel delighted, filled with great pleasure, and deeply inspired? As you reflect back on 2023, how alive, open-hearted, and charmed did you feel?

Imagine if being inspired, enchanted, and captivated became your primary pursuit in 2024. How different might your year ahead look? 

If you are feeling less enchanted as you reflect back over the past year, that’s ok! When you have time to deeply consider what enchantment looks like, feels like, and means to you, take a moment and really describe in detail, what does bring you a feeling of enchantment? Deeply consider what captivates your full attention, what fills you with pleasure and inspiration? I recommend beginning an enchantment journal for 2024. It can be a small pocket sized notebook that you can access easily throughout the day. If you prefer tech, you can start a page on your notes app in your phone, titling it ENCHANTMENT 2024. If you like to get fancy with your journaling, you can always make it colorful, crafty, and creative!

When you have some time to deeply reflect on what brings you a feeling of enchantment, begin to write down what you already know creates this feeling for you. For example, it could be something as simple as seeing the steam rise from your morning coffee or tea. Feeling enchanted may arise from having a good, long laugh with someone you care about, or it could be a moment of capturing colorful sunrise or sunset or rainbow. You might feel enchanted by a song, a great book, the taste of chocolate, or seeing a new leaf sprouting from the plant in your window. You might feel enchanted by the sweet face of a pet or a child, or from seeing a piece of art, a cloud formation, a tree, or a sparkling stone. You might feel enchanted by so many more things than you recognize, or that you take the time to fully notice in your day to day life. What brings you this feeling of captivation and delight is completely unique to you. Continue to notice, and to pay attention to these moments no matter whether they are small or large, simple or grand, and write them all down to have access to when you are feeling disenchanted or uninspired, or when you just need to have a smile.

Once you have your initial list, what you already know captivates your full attention, take a moment and reflect on it. How much of what enchants you costs a lot of money? How much of it has to do with success, striving, possessing, or acquiring? Most likely not too much. When we are enchanted we are not wanting, we are experiencing something wonderful, we are one with the present moment. And sure, maybe something enchanting may cost money, but it is definitely not a requirement. 

Spend time looking at your starting list and allow yourself to begin to add to it consistently. When you capture something enchanting, write it down after the moment or experience has moved on, try not to disrupt any of these beautiful moments! In my therapy practice, I recommend reflecting to all of my clients to keep a “what went well today” journal. This is about helping the usual anxious, stressed, worried, or negative mind take a break. When you reflect on what went well today you can shift your attention away from worry, negative self-talk, and projecting stress into the next day. Typically I recommend keeping a daily journal to reflect on what went well today? What wins did I have today? What am I most grateful for today? And be sure to add and include, what enchanted me today? When you focus on what went well, what wins you had, what you are most grateful for, and now adding this focus of, what enchanted me today, you can shift out of fear, negativity, and lack—and into contentment, delight and joy. 

When you are noticing the experience of enchantment, captivation, and pleasure in the moment it’s occurring, take time to really savor it. When we savor something pleasurable, we are creating an opportunity to feel full of contentment. When we are savoring the present moment, we are delighting in the experience of being delighted! When you are savoring, you are practicing mindfulness as you are fully immersed in the present moment, the here and the now. Savoring allows your mind is focusing on the good, and you can feel a sense of pleasure and gratitude as you are experiencing it.

When you are reflecting on moments of enchantment and writing them down as a reflection process at the end of the day, take time to savor each element you have experienced. Can you linger in the feeling of enchantment, let it fully enter your being in mind, body and spirit, and allow it to be re-experienced in a way that you feel the delight all over again?

This process of allowing yourself to be present, to experience pleasure, and to re-experience it upon reflection can impact your inner emotional world, your mindset, and your mood in a way that you can experience your own inner ability to create an internal shift. Moods are temporary and usually impacted by experiences, however, if a mood is lingering outside of the experience and it doesn’t feel great, you can bring in this reflective practice and try savoring and see if you can impact your mood in this helpful and positive way. When you can, it feels very empowering, life enhancing, and even healing. Allow yourself this momentary treat of reflection, and be sure to repeat it daily. We get good at what we practice, and this repetition of savoring enchantment offers an opportunity to create positive change in mind, body, and spirt.

Imagine the year ahead as one where your primary focus becomes searching for these moments of enchantment every single day. Imagine the year ahead as one where you notice the good, savor it, linger in it, practice the process of savoring, and search for more. Imagine the year ahead as a year where following what enchants you, what makes you feel most alive, open-heated, and fulfilled becomes your Full-Time pursuit. Here’s to creating enchantment in 2024!