Creating a Year of Enchantment

When was the last time you felt enchanted? When experiencing enchantment, you’re filled with delight, you’re drawn towards the image, the item or the experience, and it creates a great feeling of pleasure. When you are enchanted you are captivated, fascinated, and inspired. 

If you’ve spent some time reflecting back on 2023, have you considered what brought you a feeling of enchantment in this past year? If not, take a look back and ask yourself, how often did I feel delighted, filled with great pleasure, and deeply inspired? As you reflect back on 2023, how alive, open-hearted, and charmed did you feel?

Imagine if being inspired, enchanted, and captivated became your primary pursuit in 2024. How different might your year ahead look? 

If you are feeling less enchanted as you reflect back over the past year, that’s ok! When you have time to deeply consider what enchantment looks like, feels like, and means to you, take a moment and really describe in detail, what does bring you a feeling of enchantment? Deeply consider what captivates your full attention, what fills you with pleasure and inspiration? I recommend beginning an enchantment journal for 2024. It can be a small pocket sized notebook that you can access easily throughout the day. If you prefer tech, you can start a page on your notes app in your phone, titling it ENCHANTMENT 2024. If you like to get fancy with your journaling, you can always make it colorful, crafty, and creative!

When you have some time to deeply reflect on what brings you a feeling of enchantment, begin to write down what you already know creates this feeling for you. For example, it could be something as simple as seeing the steam rise from your morning coffee or tea. Feeling enchanted may arise from having a good, long laugh with someone you care about, or it could be a moment of capturing colorful sunrise or sunset or rainbow. You might feel enchanted by a song, a great book, the taste of chocolate, or seeing a new leaf sprouting from the plant in your window. You might feel enchanted by the sweet face of a pet or a child, or from seeing a piece of art, a cloud formation, a tree, or a sparkling stone. You might feel enchanted by so many more things than you recognize, or that you take the time to fully notice in your day to day life. What brings you this feeling of captivation and delight is completely unique to you. Continue to notice, and to pay attention to these moments no matter whether they are small or large, simple or grand, and write them all down to have access to when you are feeling disenchanted or uninspired, or when you just need to have a smile.

Once you have your initial list, what you already know captivates your full attention, take a moment and reflect on it. How much of what enchants you costs a lot of money? How much of it has to do with success, striving, possessing, or acquiring? Most likely not too much. When we are enchanted we are not wanting, we are experiencing something wonderful, we are one with the present moment. And sure, maybe something enchanting may cost money, but it is definitely not a requirement. 

Spend time looking at your starting list and allow yourself to begin to add to it consistently. When you capture something enchanting, write it down after the moment or experience has moved on, try not to disrupt any of these beautiful moments! In my therapy practice, I recommend reflecting to all of my clients to keep a “what went well today” journal. This is about helping the usual anxious, stressed, worried, or negative mind take a break. When you reflect on what went well today you can shift your attention away from worry, negative self-talk, and projecting stress into the next day. Typically I recommend keeping a daily journal to reflect on what went well today? What wins did I have today? What am I most grateful for today? And be sure to add and include, what enchanted me today? When you focus on what went well, what wins you had, what you are most grateful for, and now adding this focus of, what enchanted me today, you can shift out of fear, negativity, and lack—and into contentment, delight and joy. 

When you are noticing the experience of enchantment, captivation, and pleasure in the moment it’s occurring, take time to really savor it. When we savor something pleasurable, we are creating an opportunity to feel full of contentment. When we are savoring the present moment, we are delighting in the experience of being delighted! When you are savoring, you are practicing mindfulness as you are fully immersed in the present moment, the here and the now. Savoring allows your mind is focusing on the good, and you can feel a sense of pleasure and gratitude as you are experiencing it.

When you are reflecting on moments of enchantment and writing them down as a reflection process at the end of the day, take time to savor each element you have experienced. Can you linger in the feeling of enchantment, let it fully enter your being in mind, body and spirit, and allow it to be re-experienced in a way that you feel the delight all over again?

This process of allowing yourself to be present, to experience pleasure, and to re-experience it upon reflection can impact your inner emotional world, your mindset, and your mood in a way that you can experience your own inner ability to create an internal shift. Moods are temporary and usually impacted by experiences, however, if a mood is lingering outside of the experience and it doesn’t feel great, you can bring in this reflective practice and try savoring and see if you can impact your mood in this helpful and positive way. When you can, it feels very empowering, life enhancing, and even healing. Allow yourself this momentary treat of reflection, and be sure to repeat it daily. We get good at what we practice, and this repetition of savoring enchantment offers an opportunity to create positive change in mind, body, and spirt.

Imagine the year ahead as one where your primary focus becomes searching for these moments of enchantment every single day. Imagine the year ahead as one where you notice the good, savor it, linger in it, practice the process of savoring, and search for more. Imagine the year ahead as a year where following what enchants you, what makes you feel most alive, open-heated, and fulfilled becomes your Full-Time pursuit. Here’s to creating enchantment in 2024!

How to Balance Your Nervous System

Many of us are struggling with a nervous system that is out of balance from the increased stress and anxiety of COVID-19. Understanding the basics of how your nervous system functions and what you can do to balance it can create a feeling of empowerment as you decrease your stress and increase a feeling of wellbeing. Feeling out of control increases this imbalance while creating opportunities to feel healthy and balanced increase your inner strength and wellbeing.

The nervous system, which is of course intimately interconnected with all the systems of your body, is designed to keep us safe. When we experience an emotion such as fear, worry or anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system takes over and helps to prepare you to fight or flee. The body does not know the difference as to whether this is happening in real time, or if it is something you are fearing in your mind. This can cause a constant state of stress and anxiety which triggers the release of stress hormones throughout your system constantly.

Our fight or flight response is not meant to be triggered over and over again, and while the fear thoughts might feel true, they often are not based in reality. (If you’d like a refresher on how to examine your thoughts, CLICK HERE.) Right now if you are worrying about getting sick, your loved ones, getting back to normal, finances, the economy or all of the above and more, you are most likely triggering this stress response at an overwhelming speed.

The parasympathetic nervous system is your rest and digest mode. It keeps your body in a state of homeostasis. This is where you want to live, unless of course there is a true emergency. The good news is that you always have access to your parasympathetic nervous system through your breath. You will breathe whether you think about it or not, however, when you bring the process of breathing into your consciousness and present moment experience, you can regulate your nervous system and return to balance.

Here’s an overview of the functions of your nervous system.

SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE:

• Elevated heart rate

• Chronic muscle tension (body prepared to fight or flee with no release of energy)

• Increased threat perception (life seems more dangerous)

• Diminished neocortical functioning (can’t think clearly or focus)

• Loss of language and speech (blood diverted from prefrontal cortex to your fear center)

• Experiencing fearful or angry emotions

• Reactivity (emotional reactions vs. reasoned action)

• Perpetuation of anxiety and traumatic stress (mutual reinforcement: body says “I’m afraid,” mind says “there must be something to be afraid of,” body says “I’m ready to run or fight”)

• High brain-wave activity (thoughts race and are scattered, focusing is difficult)

PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE:

• Optimal or normal heart rate

• Muscles relax (body feels comfortable)

• Decreased threat perception (life seems safer)

• Peak cognitive performance (can learn, reason, make wise decisions)

• Ability to speak about and make sense of experiences (optimal blood flow to cortex)

• Ability to regulate and handle a range of emotions

• Intentionality (reasoned actions vs. emotional reactivity)

• Positive social engagement (desire to seek pleasant and intimate contact)

• Ability to cultivate a sense of inner calm, reset nervous system to optimal functioning

• Low brain-wave activity (thoughts are focused, mental clarity)

One of the most effective ways to help yourself live in the parasympathetic nervous system response, or rest and digest mode, is by breathing deeply, completely and consciously.

DIAPHRAMAGHTIC BREATHING

To practice, place one hand on your abdomen and one hand on your chest. Take a few breaths and notice which hand is moving. Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose. Now begin to direct your breath to fill your abdomen as you inhale, your hand on your abdomen will lift. As you exhale, draw your navel in towards your spine, feeling your hand on your abdomen move back inwards. Repeat for 1-5 minutes, attempting to keep your focus on the process of breathing. Anytime your mind wanders (which most likely will be a lot) return your focus to your breath.

Diaphragmatic breathing allows your nervous system to reset. Once you have practiced deep breathing, check in with how you are feeling, your stress and anxiety levels. There are many breathing practices that can help to reset and calm your nervous system, however begin with this simple, accessible and always available breath.

Once you’ve practiced deep breathing, try one or more of the following techniques to maintain balance.

ADDITIONAL TECHNIQUES TO HELP CREATE INNER BALANCE

·      Count backwards from 100-1 by 7’s or 5’s. This gets your working memory going and removes the focus from the emotion center and part of the brain that activates the stress response.

·      Do a body scan. Scan through your body in your mind’s eye, notice anywhere you are holding tension. Consciously allow those muscles to relax. Check in with your body often, especially the places you tend to carry the most tension (common areas are space between your eyebrows, jaw, neck and shoulders, abdomen and lower back.)

·      Talk about your feelings. Sharing how you feel can have a tremendous impact on letting go of stress and emotional tension.

·      Practice the thought examination technique. You can get a refresher on that technique here.

·      Journal. Write out your feelings, practice releasing your stress and uncomfortable emotions with your pen and paper and notice the impact.

·      Listen to calming music. This allows your nervous system to relax and reset and remain in a more calm and balanced state.

·      Practice guided meditations. Listening to someone guide you through a visualization or relaxation experience will help to reset your nervous system. I like the app Insight Timer, however you can use any app/resource for guided meditations that suit you. (You can listen to my 5 minute guided deep breathing on my resources page HERE.)

·      Do something creative. Making or creating something is not only soothing for the nervous system, it is esteem building as well. This could be art, a meal, music, decorating/rearranging your space, crafts…)

Finding your way back to a state of balance is the most valuable thing you can do for yourself when you find yourself in a state of stress or anxiety. You deserve to live a life of balance and peace. Begin to train your nervous system through these practices and feel your inner experience flourish. Start with the breath, go from there and you can create inner calm and greater health and wellbeing, no matter the circumstances of life.

Step EIGHT to Creating a Life You Love: Building on the Change Process

“Quitting is never an option on the road to success. Find the way forward. If you have a positive mindset and are willing to persevere, there is little that is beyond your reach. The attitude of being ready to work even in the face of challenges and despite odds is what will make all the difference in your life.” ― Roopleen

Step 8 to creating a life that you love is about celebrating your change process and nurturing it as it develops. You will focus on the good, the wins you are achieving and the positive shifts that are occurring. You will have opportunities to make adjustments when your motivation needs some tweaking. Developing a consistent daily practice to focus on the positive and express gratitude will be outlined and encouraged to integrate into a daily self-awareness positivity practice. When you focus on what’s going well you tend to want to create more of it!

As we move into this step, and really the final three steps, the aspects surrounding change are more nuanced and less direct. They are more about how to hold onto the changes you’ve created and continuing to dive deeper into what you want and why you want it. Because backsliding is an inevitable part of the process, developing a daily practice to ensure forward momentum is essential.

You may find as some of the smaller steps become habits that your focus may change, what you want may change and your desires become deeper. For example, for many who struggle with emotional eating, they often initially have goals related to wanting to change their body in some way or adhere to some type of diet plan. However, after making shifts and changes, they recognize that their relationship with food, body—or anything else—are all reflected within their relationship with themselves. This is experienced through deep self-awareness and constant self-reflection.

This step is about allowing the positive changes you’ve created to become not just a rote habit, but to savor the experience of the change, to take in the positive feelings of the change and to recognize and be grateful to yourself that you are responsible for the change. This is worth celebrating! Gratitude and daily self-reflection practices that focus on what went well, what changes you’ve maintained and where you can fine-tune your vision is central.

Now that you have seen how a plan turns behaviors into habits, maintaining those habits is how to continue to build on the change process. Taking time daily to reflect on what you did do, what went well and the positive impact that it had on you will help to keep the motivation flowing. This is the time to incorporate gratitude as a practice into your daily routine. As you reflect on what went well, say thank you to yourself for taking the time to put action into your vision and make the changes you desire. Expressing gratitude to yourself to be able to take action and for any of the people who supported you or anything/one else that helped you through this process will allow you to experience an abundance of positive feelings. When you link these positive feelings with the process of change, that will create a stronger desire to keep going. Reflecting on the good, taking time to let it sink in deeply and expressing gratitude all support your progress and build upon the change process in a meaningful way.

Putting this daily practice into your routine would look something like this… Start a daily positive action and gratitude journal. Begin by taking a couple slow, deep, centering breaths. Open your journal and write down two things that you did today to support your vision. These will be any action steps you did take today, no matter how big or small. Focus on what went well and how it felt to complete those action steps. (If your mind tries to distract you with what you didn’t do or anything negative, pause and go back to focusing in this moment solely on the positive.) Take a moment to savor the positive feelings that arise, letting them sink into your being. Notice how it feels in your body to focus on the positive, along with celebrating your growth and change process. Now thank yourself for taking the time to do these action steps and notice how that feels to focus your gratitude inward. Next, write down two things/people you are grateful for from your day and specifically why you feel grateful for these things/people. Take a moment to savor those positive feelings of gratitude, letting them sink into your being. Notice how it feels in your body when you practice gratitude. Savor the positive experience of reflecting on your dedication and expressing gratitude.

This simple and yet super powerful daily practice will help keep you aligned to your greater vision for your life. This daily practice is such a rewarding part of the change process. It does not take much time; however, it makes a big difference in how you feel and ultimately sparks more desire to continue to take action consistently. As you build on the small steps you continue to take, over time you prepare yourself to make big changes and live your vision. You are creating a life that you love!