How to Survive the Holidays: A Mindful Eating Guide

So the holiday season is in full force, did it sneak up on you too?! When it comes to the holidays, do you feel overwhelmed when it comes to surviving them all? Do you worry about overeating, over spending and in general just over doing it all? If so, you are not alone. This time of year, with the shorter daylight hours and brisk temperatures, it’s natural to want to do less and relax more. However, the nature of this season often gets us out and about, leaving us over tired and over stressed. When this happens, we often over-do-it with sugar, caffeine and possibly the alcohol.

Some of the primary challenges when it comes to over-doing-it during the holidays are, well, the big holiday meals, alcohol, candy dishes and sweet treats everywhere, food as gifts, cocktail parties… That’s a lot of challenges. If you already struggle with emotional and stress eating, the holidays are often too overpowering with that LONG list of challenges to stay in a mindset of health and wellbeing.

Here are some helpful suggestions to help survive each of these scenarios with a mindful eating approach to the holiday-all-the-things-food-season.

BIG HOLIDAY MEALS

Let’s start with the big holiday meals. Here are some suggestions to remain mindful and comfortable throughout each meal:

·      Start with vegetables—fill your plate with at least 50% colorful veggies.

·      Add proteins to your plate—when you eat protein and fiber (from the veggies) together it will create a feeling of satiation more quickly and stay with you longer.

·      Don’t overload your plate—if you want to eat more after your first serving, notice if you are truly hungry (mindful & intuitive eating practice) and if not, ask yourself if you can have the food you’d still like to eat as leftovers another time to receive that satisfaction later.

·      Don’t restrict what you choose to eat—on the other side of overloading is not letting yourself eat something you really want; this will only lead to cravings and resentful feelings of deprivation. Try a little of everything you want and TASTE it, enjoy it, eat it mindfully.

·      Eat dessert if you want it and if you aren’t stuffed but if you are full, don’t. Have a statement prepared for the “food pushers” in your life if you are choosing to not eat dessert (or anything else at the meal!) An example could be, “That looks amazing, can I take some to go so I can eat it when I’m not full and I can actually enjoy it.” If you do want dessert, eat it and do so mindfully.

ALCOHOL

So let’s be clear, alcohol is not a health food and if you struggle with over doing it with alcohol, it’s best to avoid it altogether. If you don’t have a problem with alcohol but tend to over-indulge during the holidays, here are my suggestions to remain more mindful in relation to your alcohol consumption:

·      Set a mental limit for yourself. Do this before you go to a cocktail party or holiday meal, know (and remember!) your set desired limits and stick to it.

·      Be sure you are not using alcohol as a coping skill. If cocktail parties or big get togethers create feelings of anxiety, discomfort or tension, you might end up over doing it to cope with those feelings. Make sure you check in with your emotions and manage them before hitting the alcohol.

·      Start any party or meal with water and be sure to stay hydrated

·      Have a glass of water between drinks

·      Choose a creative “mocktail” like seltzer, pomegranate juice and lime, no one needs to know there’s no booze!

·      Check in with your inner strength monitor to assess your “tipsy level” from time to time! You are way more likely to regret over-doing-it to under doing it!

CANDY DISHES

You know how during the holidays there are candy dishes seemingly everywhere? Here are some suggestions to help manage the dreaded candy dishes:

·      Give yourself a “sugar quota” for the day—maybe it’s 1-3 pieces of candy. Pay attention and be sure to stay in mindful eating-mode when you do enjoy a piece, when you eat it, savor it!

·      Be intentional about your choices. Do you even like those red and green M&M’s? Maybe so, but if they aren’t your fav, leave them in the dish.

·      Avoid the candy dishes. If you struggle with over-doing-it with sugar, it’s best to avoid the candy dishes and make intentional choices about what sweets you will have this season.

·      Avoid the mindless eating trap. With all of the candy around it can become easy to mindlessly have a few pieces here and there and not really enjoy and savor them.

FOOD AS GIFTS

Another big food challenge during the holidays is being given food as a gift. Here are some suggestions for dealing with this one:

·      Mange your feelings of guilt if you choose not to eat the food you are gifted. Guilt is appropriate if you have actually done something wrong, it is our conscience in action. However, if someone gives you a box of candy and you know it will be painful for you to just try one piece and you end up eating the entire box all at once, it’s best not to put yourself in a position you might feel upset about later.

·      Take the food gifts to work and share with others.

·      Take the food gifts to a holiday gathering.

·      Determine if you even like the food, then decide if it’s what you truly want to eat.

·      Save a portion of the food and give the rest away.

·      Create a sugar quota for yourself for the day and stick to it. If you’ve hit your quota, remember, you can always try something the next day.

COCKTAIL PARTIES

Cocktail parties are a challenge during the holidays. They tend have a lot of snacks and of course drinks—and they may come with a side of awkwardness. Usually they are not offering a full meal so it can be tough not to over-do-it. Here are some suggestions to manage cocktail parties with ease:

·      Give yourself a drink limit (review alcohol above!) and space them out well throughout the party. This is a mindset you create before even walking in the door.

·      Start with one drink. Then switch to water or a “mocktail” in the same glass.

·      Be aware of sugar content in any fancy mixed drinks.

·      Eat something healthy before you go so you are not hungry when you arrive.

·      Focus on the veggie options first with the available snacks.

·      Stay mindful as you do eat so you don’t graze. Sometimes when nervous we might nibble mindlessly.

A few last tips to help reduce incidents of stress and emotional eating holiday season:

·      Try to stick to meal planning and preparation throughout the season. It’s super tempting and easy to order take out or go out when you are feeling over-run during this season. This can add up in dollars and unhealthy meals.

·      Focus on vegetables and fruits. You may still choose to indulge in other holiday treats, just be sure to be well nourished along the way!

·      Make slow cooker meals that are ready to go and easy to freeze so you can have leftovers available.

·      Practice mindful eating at least one meal per day every day.

·      Use the emotional cravings protocol any time you need it.

I’ll leave you with this last reminder of the process of mindful eating so you can stay empowered, mindful and content with your choices this holiday season!

Mindful Eating is…

·      Eating without distraction.

·      Being in tune with what you are eating and your body, noticing how what you eat makes you feel.

·      Focusing on your senses, especially smelling and tasting.

·      Savoring and enjoying your food.

·      Staying tuned into to your hunger and full cues, eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full.

·      Eating in a relaxed, calm and neutral emotional state.

·      Deriving pleasure from eating without judgment.

I hope you have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Growing Your Inner Strengths to Transform Your Life

Now that we’ve covered the six primary inner strengths, it’s time to integrate them into the fabric of our being so we are more able to live in a space of happiness, contentment and peacefulness. Let’s examine how to use these six inner strengths to help grow out of and overcome our weaknesses. 

Growing internal strengths is work—l mean, sometimes really hard work. Growing inner strength requires self-awareness, a desire to change, and putting in effort consistently to make it happen. Let’s face it, change is hard, demanding and often painful. However, is change even more painful than living in space of discomfort, avoidance and struggle? What is the real cost to you within your life to NOT change? If you desire to transform your life, change is necessary.

Of these six inner strengths (remember that there are a whole lot of other inner strengths—these are just the primary ones that I’ve focused on over the last several posts), did any stand out to you that you’d like to build? Did you notice if each already exist within your being and how you approach your life? I know the desire to possess each of them is strong for me, however, I did notice how some of them were not as super solid within me as I applied them to myself! One of the ways that I most live within my personal authenticity is when I am practicing self care and growing on all levels. Examining these inner strengths made me come face to face with how complacent I can be with my weaknesses—which then causes me to not live within my authenticity—yikes! An opportunity to grow is exciting and scary at the same time, right? 

Spend some time examining your current life a bit. Reflect on the following thought questions and journal out your answers if you like:

• Where do you hold yourself back from your dreams?

• If you applied these inner strengths to how you approach your relationship with food, what did you notice in relation to each of the strengths and how they could help improve this relationship?

• Where do you feel the most struggle within your life?

• Where are you hiding or what are you hiding from?

• What limiting beliefs do you hold onto about yourself and/or your life?

When you allow yourself to really answer these questions, you will find valuable information about where you are ready to grow and evolve into you…only better! This is where your true self is longing to level-up, to create greater consciousness. When you do this, you first will go through the temporary discomfort of stepping out of your comfort zone. Once you pass this temporary discomfort, you are able to experience the freedom of living within the authenticity of your true self and ultimately create more comfort and pleasure.

Begin by selecting one area within yourself that you might consider to be a weakness. One of my primary weakness—as I perceive it anyway—is impatience…(my husband verified this for me.) Then determine which inner strength would help to manage that weakness and ultimately build it into an inner strength. For me, in order to help improve my impatience, I’d like to build temperance (along with all of the others!) Check within yourself and go into any areas where you might avoid noticing your perceived weakness(es). Awareness is always the first step!

Just as a reminder, the six inner strengths we’ve been exploring are:

1.    Curiosity: Allowing continued growth of knowledge and wisdom

2.    Vitality: Allowing continued growth of courage as well as mind & body wellbeing

3.    Giving and Receiving Love: Allowing continued growth of love, trust, openness and affirmation for yourself and others 

4.    Temperance: Allowing continued growth of acceptance, forgiveness & compassion

5.    Gratitude: Allowing for continued growth to release the state of wanting and desire and creating a grateful perspective that what you have is enough. This creates transcendence and deeply releases anxiety.

6.    Hope & Faith: An inner belief that all will be well without having to control your circumstances. This is the experience of surrender, which is deeply personal and spiritual.

Once you’ve selected one area that needs work (identified a weakness)—and one area to build (identified useful inner strength)—let yourself dive into it. Spend time in reflection about your perception of your weakness and how growing this particular inner strength can help to improve your internal experience and your interaction within your own life. Spend time journaling and talking to others about their perceptions of you (yes, get some—at times hard to hear—feedback!) Begin incorporating daily practices to build this particular inner strength starting today. Give yourself time. Be patient (note to self!) and allow yourself to grow with effort, determination and a focus on why you want to create this strength within.

How will you know when the inner strength has become integrated? It will become evident to you in how you communicate with yourself and others, the choices you make and how others respond to you. Leveling up your consciousness and your life is a lifelong journey and worth the effort. You always have the choice to change or remain right where you are…what will you choose?

Inner Strength Focus: Gratitude to Heal Emotional Eating

Gratitude is an inner strength that is often present in those who feel happy and content within their lives. While gratitude is a strength, it is also a practice, a way of being, and an attitude that can be cultivated over time. The act of being and feeling grateful is powerful. Right now, take a moment to think of one thing you are grateful for and notice how it makes you feel to bring this to your mind. Did you smile? Did you feel any warmth in your heart and body expand? Gratitude gets a lot of press these days and while taking a moment just to be grateful is wonderful, it is the practice and cultivation of it as a deeper strength and inner resource that allows it to enhance your life through your attitude and outlook every single day.

As you engage in the practice of being grateful daily, you begin to harness the power of gratitude as an inner strength. While that may sound like a nice skill, it is not necessarily easy. We are hardwired to remember danger, to notice possible problems and remember them for future security and survival. The problems and unpleasant experiences can conjure up discomfort and fear in a heartbeat but we tend to forget the positive experiences more easily. The part of the brain that is always on alert for danger does this on purpose as a survival mechanism. The part of the brain that stores the good stuff does not let it all sink in quite so easily which means that we have to work at it to make the good stuff stick!

Practicing is an act of creation. We get better at what we practice, so if you have been practicing fear and lacking thoughts, you might be really good at that. The good news is that if you begin practicing gratitude, you can get good at that too. Gratitude is one of the best anecdotes for anxiety. Anxiety is loaded with fear of the unknown and tends to create catastrophes based on all of the possible dangers that the brain has stored and this causes a lot of internal distress. One of the most commonly soothed emotions with food is anxiety. Food can be calming and grounding, and when you are feeling anxious it can do the trick. Sugary foods can trigger the pleasure center in the brain making you temporarily feel less anxious. However, this is not a very effective coping mechanism as the anxiety will not just go away, it is just temporarily numbed out by the food.

Gratitude can calm and release anxiety because it brings you back to being grateful for what is true right now, what you do have, and what is going well. This is mindfulness in action with a specific attitude. Anxiety lives in future catastrophe while gratitude lives in the present moment. When you bring the energy of gratitude to the present moment it can transform the moment and create an amazing shift in perception causing your inner experience to transform.

When you apply the inner strength of gratitude to the process of making peace with food it is incredibly powerful. When we are along any personal healing journey there will be trials, there will be ups and downs and of course there will always be the inevitable backsliding. When you apply gratitude to your journey it allows you to focus on what is going well, where you are being successful and an ability to tap into the inner knowing that all will be well.

When you focus on what has gone wrong or on where you weren’t perfect, you create a dampening of energy and may even think to yourself, “why do I even bother trying?” or you may think thoughts such as, “I always fail, I’m weak…” These are defeating, self-limiting beliefs that have absolutely no use or purpose along the path to healing and wellbeing. When you focus on what has gone well you reinforce the belief that what you want is indeed possible and on the way. Most importantly, when you reflect on what went well and what you are grateful for, you are able to build energy to keep going, to keep moving forward. You know that it feels good to feel good, it feels good to make progress, it feels good to heal and grow into the healthiest and most whole version of yourself over and over again.

Gratitude is a practice, you have to do it over and over again for it to be effective and to truly sink in as an inner strength. Gratitude is also an attitude. It is a mindset of looking for what is good, what you do have, what feels positive and to continue to search for it even when it may be difficult to find. When you engage in the practice of gratitude and work to intentionally create a mindset of recognizing what you are grateful for and shift away from longing and wanting you grow the inner strength of gratitude as an integrated part of who you are, a resource you can draw from over and over again.

This week, begin to integrate these practices in order to grow the inner strength of gratitude within you each day.

1.    Keep a gratitude journal. Focus at the end of the day on two things you did that moved you in the direction of your own personal healing and wellbeing journey and write it like this: Today I am grateful that I…__________________ (took a long walk, drank a ton of water, took a yoga class, ate a leafy green, meditated…) just be sure to focus on what you did do. Then write, I am grateful that I created the opportunity to feel __________________ by doing ______________ (strong, relaxed, empowered, healthy, vibrant…. By doing yoga, meditating, eating a leafy green….)

2.    Tell someone you care about something you appreciate about them every day.

3.    Be grateful for the food you eat, don’t judge it, just practice gratitude.

4. Begin each day by saying Thank You.

If you try these four action steps, let me know the impact they create in your life—especially in relation to your relationship with food.