10 Steps to Creating A Life You LOVE

If you are ready to make 2020 a year of clarity and purpose—and you know you want this year to matter— stay tuned here as I will be covering ten essential steps to leading yourself towards a life that you love. Today I will give you an overview and then for the next ten weeks I’ll be diving a little deeper into each of the steps. If you have a dream for your year, these steps will help you make your dream a reality! My work is geared towards those who struggle with emotional and stress eating, so going forward these steps will offer guidance specific to those needs, however, they fit well with anything you’d like to achieve and will offer everyone inspiration and motivation along the way!

Step 1: Self-Awareness

This first step is all about becoming deeply self-aware. In order to know yourself fully and understand your patterns and get comfortable with the discomfort of change, you must have self-awareness. This step creates the ultimate foundation for change. When you become self-aware you will explore and examine your internal emotional world, how you respond to life and any potential blocks to change that are standing in your way. Mindfulness allows you to create opportunities to know yourself and accept yourself completely. This step presents opportunities to create practices to live a truly mindful life. As you become more self-aware, present and accepting, you will begin to be able to tune into and listen to your inner wisdom.

Step 2: Aligning with a Sense of Purpose

Step two is about creating a sense of purpose that drives your motivation towards the change you’re seeking. When you can align consistently with your purpose you will be able to explore why change is important to you and why it is necessary. When you understand the change process and create a vision that supports your why, you will live in that alignment and remain motivated and inspired towards the change you desire. There’s a lot of talk about finding your purpose out there, which can feel daunting. This step allows you to break it down and offer a way to explore your sense of purpose if it isn’t clear—and how to work within why you want the change you desire and aligning that with your personal values. If your sense of purpose is clear to you, you will access that consistently to remain in alignment with your vision.

Step 3: Creating a Plan of Action

Without a plan your vision will remain only a dream. Step 3 will help you outline your specific plan and use it to create consistent action towards what you desire. Once you have a sense of purpose and a clear vision, you will focus with a new mindset on how to execute effectively in order to create a life that you love. Having a plan offers an opportunity to do just this and is an essential step to creating change. Creating a vision is fun and creative. Formulating a plan is practical and action focused. Your specific plan will allow you to move into a space of action, a space of change and is specific, doable and desirable.

Step 4: Evaluating Your Current Life and Lifestyle

Step 4 is all about evaluating how you are currently functioning in terms of living well, feeling well and being well. This step will help you understand and evaluate how you are integrating the foundations of wellness into your current lifestyle. You will have opportunities in this step to create greater wellbeing within your current life. There will be opportunities for self-reflection and to assess your current wellbeing within this step and where you might create more fluidity in your lifestyle that will help lead to the changes you desire.

Step 5: Monitor Your Process and Respond to Obstacles Along the Way

Step five outlines the need to monitor your progress in order to create the change you desire. It’s one thing to create a plan, it’s another to execute it! This step allows you to explore your inner resistance to change and learn how to build your resilience to ensure that change you desire shifts from a fantasy into reality based action. Resistance to change is the number one reason we don’t follow through. Resistance dampens motivation and zaps inspiration and keeps us stuck in this discomfort of our comfort zone and convinces us that that is better than the discomfort of stepping out of our comfort zone and into change. There will be opportunities in this step to build resilience as an anecdote to resistance and some serious reality checks to keep you moving forward!

Step 6: Create a Support Network

Step 6 emphasizes the need to have a strong support network on your side in order to make the changes you desire in your life. Without support change is way more difficult. Without support, life can be difficult and lonely. With support, you can reach out, stay motivated and feel inspired to move forward even when it’s difficult. You will evaluate the nature of your relationships, acknowledge the ones you’d like to improve, explore how to continue to develop new healthy partnerships all while improving your ability to communicate assertively, compassionately and effectively.

Step 7: Moving Forward with a Steady Pace to Create True Self-Leadership

Step 7 helps you create an understanding of how to continue to lead yourself through the change process at a steady, manageable pace. This step offers opportunities to evaluate and adjust your plan as needed, to continue to forge through any residual resistance and personalize your change process. Understanding leadership skills and becoming a strong leader for yourself is emphasized. We are often used to either being led or leading others, however, leading yourself is where your true internal power lies.

Step 8: Building on the Change Process

Step 8 is about celebrating your change process and nurturing it as it develops. With this step you will focus on the good, the wins you are achieving, and the positive shifts that are occurring. You will have opportunities to make adjustments when your motivation needs some tweaking. Developing a consistent gratitude and appreciation practice will be outlined and encouraged to integrate into daily self-awareness positivity practice. When you focus on what’s going well you tend to create more of it!

Step 9: Create Adjustments Through Self-Reflection and Acknowledging Change

Step 9 is about understanding how new learning can be integrated throughout your personal change process and how you can apply it to all areas of your life. Fine tuning your change process will be discussed which allows you to continue to deepen your self-reflection and self-awareness. This ensures that you continue to feel good about the person you are growing into on a daily basis. Celebrating any changes that have occurred is encouraged!

Step 10: Self-Reflection and Re-Evaluation

The 10th and final step is about graceful living and self-compassion through the growth process—which really is a lifelong process! With this step, you may find that your goals shift and maybe even majorly change. There will be opportunities for evaluating your personal change process and ensuring that you create a life-long dedication to being Wholistically, Unapologetically and Authentically You!

So consider something you’d like to shift, change or create within your life and join me over the next ten posts to lead yourself towards the change you desire!

Creating 2020 Vision: How to Get Clear, Set Goals and Create a Life You Love

When you have 2020 vision, you have clarity, direction, purpose and this creates a strong focused mindset. If you are ready to see what you want clearly and prepare yourself to remain motivated, inspired and truly live your vision, stay tuned all throughout this year! We are going to get motivated and stay motivated with a constant search for and connection to clarity.

This post today will walk you through three basic steps to create 2020 vision for your year ahead—the year 2020! First you will use clarity questions to dive deep within yourself and get super clear on where you’ve come from through reflecting on this past year. Then you will set specific goals to set you up to move towards what you want. Lastly you will create a life you love through consistent action and maintaining a determined mindset. Ready to get started? Here we go!

Step One: How to Get Clear

Clarity requires self-reflection. Inner reflection can be painful, or at least uncomfortable…so we tend to either avoid it through procrastination, busyness or through plain old denial. If you can reframe the process of self-reflection from painful or uncomfortable to a process of getting super clear on what hasn’t worked so far, so that you can make adjustments and create a plan for change, you might actually enjoy the process!

Getting clear is not about regret, self-deprecation, self-punishment or anything else that feels negative. Self-reflection and getting super clear in order to allow yourself to problem solve and use those solutions to move forward in a way that creates feelings of empowerment and deep self-awareness. Take time with these self-reflection questions to dive deep and GET CLEAR! Get out your journal, set your ego and fear aside and gain the clarity through self-reflection that you can learn and grow from to make 2020 your most purpose driven and powerful year yet.

1.    What was the most memorable part of this past year? Why?

2.    What is the biggest lesson you learned this past year? How can you apply that lesson to the year ahead?

3.    In what ways have you changed over this past year? Are you satisfied with that change, why or why not?

4.    If you did not create the change you desire in the past year, why? What held you back?

5.    What were your biggest distractions in this past year? How can you adjust those in the year ahead?

6. What did you prioritize over the past year? Did you prioritize yourself and your personal goals?

7.    When you reflect on this past year, what are you most grateful for?

8.    What is one area of your life that you’d most like to improve upon in the year ahead?

9. How will you ensure that you make these improvements that you desire?

10. What are the challenges that may present themselves as you attempt to create these improvements?

Spend time reflecting on your answers and then move into the next step.

Step Two: Setting Goals

When you set goals, you want them to be measurable, doable and desirable. If you can measure your progress you will know when you’ve achieved your goal. When your goal is doable, it will be something that you can fit into your current schedule and lifestyle without any major disruption. And the big kicker is, your goal has to be desirable—meaning you have to actually want it. When you know what you want (goal) and begin to create a plan for making it happen (doable) you can remain focused on why you want it (desirable) to ensure that you make it happen.

The biggest element of follow through is creating small action steps. When you have the baby steps outlined that will lead you to the bigger outcome of achieving your goal, you can get there. This leads us to step three!

Step Three: Create a Life You Love Through Consistent Action and a Determined Mindset

Taking action consistently is how you will ensure that you meet your goals and live out your vision for your life. Without a plan to take action it will most likely remain a dream, a fantasy, a simple wish. With a plan that you commit to taking action on consistently, your vision will fall into place with time. When you have a determined mindset that you have to do these action steps daily, you can do these action steps, that you WILL do these action steps NO MATTER WHAT, you will make it happen.

I know this is all easy to talk about however putting the plan together and creating consistent action is not always so simple...Over the next ten blogs, I’ll be outlining TEN steps to help create the change you desire over time and through a series of supportive suggestions that will help you create a life that you love. When it comes to living your vision, it is ultimately YOU that has to make the choice and the daily consistent work to make it happen. The 10-steps will offer the support to help get you where you want to go and continue to create clear vision for 2020!

I hope these three steps are helpful in your search for greatness this year. If you struggle to stay motivated feel free to reach out, having support is an essential element to growth!

How to Survive the Holidays: A Mindful Eating Guide

So the holiday season is in full force, did it sneak up on you too?! When it comes to the holidays, do you feel overwhelmed when it comes to surviving them all? Do you worry about overeating, over spending and in general just over doing it all? If so, you are not alone. This time of year, with the shorter daylight hours and brisk temperatures, it’s natural to want to do less and relax more. However, the nature of this season often gets us out and about, leaving us over tired and over stressed. When this happens, we often over-do-it with sugar, caffeine and possibly the alcohol.

Some of the primary challenges when it comes to over-doing-it during the holidays are, well, the big holiday meals, alcohol, candy dishes and sweet treats everywhere, food as gifts, cocktail parties… That’s a lot of challenges. If you already struggle with emotional and stress eating, the holidays are often too overpowering with that LONG list of challenges to stay in a mindset of health and wellbeing.

Here are some helpful suggestions to help survive each of these scenarios with a mindful eating approach to the holiday-all-the-things-food-season.

BIG HOLIDAY MEALS

Let’s start with the big holiday meals. Here are some suggestions to remain mindful and comfortable throughout each meal:

·      Start with vegetables—fill your plate with at least 50% colorful veggies.

·      Add proteins to your plate—when you eat protein and fiber (from the veggies) together it will create a feeling of satiation more quickly and stay with you longer.

·      Don’t overload your plate—if you want to eat more after your first serving, notice if you are truly hungry (mindful & intuitive eating practice) and if not, ask yourself if you can have the food you’d still like to eat as leftovers another time to receive that satisfaction later.

·      Don’t restrict what you choose to eat—on the other side of overloading is not letting yourself eat something you really want; this will only lead to cravings and resentful feelings of deprivation. Try a little of everything you want and TASTE it, enjoy it, eat it mindfully.

·      Eat dessert if you want it and if you aren’t stuffed but if you are full, don’t. Have a statement prepared for the “food pushers” in your life if you are choosing to not eat dessert (or anything else at the meal!) An example could be, “That looks amazing, can I take some to go so I can eat it when I’m not full and I can actually enjoy it.” If you do want dessert, eat it and do so mindfully.

ALCOHOL

So let’s be clear, alcohol is not a health food and if you struggle with over doing it with alcohol, it’s best to avoid it altogether. If you don’t have a problem with alcohol but tend to over-indulge during the holidays, here are my suggestions to remain more mindful in relation to your alcohol consumption:

·      Set a mental limit for yourself. Do this before you go to a cocktail party or holiday meal, know (and remember!) your set desired limits and stick to it.

·      Be sure you are not using alcohol as a coping skill. If cocktail parties or big get togethers create feelings of anxiety, discomfort or tension, you might end up over doing it to cope with those feelings. Make sure you check in with your emotions and manage them before hitting the alcohol.

·      Start any party or meal with water and be sure to stay hydrated

·      Have a glass of water between drinks

·      Choose a creative “mocktail” like seltzer, pomegranate juice and lime, no one needs to know there’s no booze!

·      Check in with your inner strength monitor to assess your “tipsy level” from time to time! You are way more likely to regret over-doing-it to under doing it!

CANDY DISHES

You know how during the holidays there are candy dishes seemingly everywhere? Here are some suggestions to help manage the dreaded candy dishes:

·      Give yourself a “sugar quota” for the day—maybe it’s 1-3 pieces of candy. Pay attention and be sure to stay in mindful eating-mode when you do enjoy a piece, when you eat it, savor it!

·      Be intentional about your choices. Do you even like those red and green M&M’s? Maybe so, but if they aren’t your fav, leave them in the dish.

·      Avoid the candy dishes. If you struggle with over-doing-it with sugar, it’s best to avoid the candy dishes and make intentional choices about what sweets you will have this season.

·      Avoid the mindless eating trap. With all of the candy around it can become easy to mindlessly have a few pieces here and there and not really enjoy and savor them.

FOOD AS GIFTS

Another big food challenge during the holidays is being given food as a gift. Here are some suggestions for dealing with this one:

·      Mange your feelings of guilt if you choose not to eat the food you are gifted. Guilt is appropriate if you have actually done something wrong, it is our conscience in action. However, if someone gives you a box of candy and you know it will be painful for you to just try one piece and you end up eating the entire box all at once, it’s best not to put yourself in a position you might feel upset about later.

·      Take the food gifts to work and share with others.

·      Take the food gifts to a holiday gathering.

·      Determine if you even like the food, then decide if it’s what you truly want to eat.

·      Save a portion of the food and give the rest away.

·      Create a sugar quota for yourself for the day and stick to it. If you’ve hit your quota, remember, you can always try something the next day.

COCKTAIL PARTIES

Cocktail parties are a challenge during the holidays. They tend have a lot of snacks and of course drinks—and they may come with a side of awkwardness. Usually they are not offering a full meal so it can be tough not to over-do-it. Here are some suggestions to manage cocktail parties with ease:

·      Give yourself a drink limit (review alcohol above!) and space them out well throughout the party. This is a mindset you create before even walking in the door.

·      Start with one drink. Then switch to water or a “mocktail” in the same glass.

·      Be aware of sugar content in any fancy mixed drinks.

·      Eat something healthy before you go so you are not hungry when you arrive.

·      Focus on the veggie options first with the available snacks.

·      Stay mindful as you do eat so you don’t graze. Sometimes when nervous we might nibble mindlessly.

A few last tips to help reduce incidents of stress and emotional eating holiday season:

·      Try to stick to meal planning and preparation throughout the season. It’s super tempting and easy to order take out or go out when you are feeling over-run during this season. This can add up in dollars and unhealthy meals.

·      Focus on vegetables and fruits. You may still choose to indulge in other holiday treats, just be sure to be well nourished along the way!

·      Make slow cooker meals that are ready to go and easy to freeze so you can have leftovers available.

·      Practice mindful eating at least one meal per day every day.

·      Use the emotional cravings protocol any time you need it.

I’ll leave you with this last reminder of the process of mindful eating so you can stay empowered, mindful and content with your choices this holiday season!

Mindful Eating is…

·      Eating without distraction.

·      Being in tune with what you are eating and your body, noticing how what you eat makes you feel.

·      Focusing on your senses, especially smelling and tasting.

·      Savoring and enjoying your food.

·      Staying tuned into to your hunger and full cues, eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full.

·      Eating in a relaxed, calm and neutral emotional state.

·      Deriving pleasure from eating without judgment.

I hope you have a happy and healthy holiday season!