Living with intention is one of the most valuable ways to create a life that you love. When it comes to self-leadership in these uncertain times, it can feel difficult to know what to do to stay motivated and to continue to move forward. When you are in a state of stress and anxiety your thinking becomes more scattered as energy is diverted towards more primitive functions to offer you an opportunity to stay and feel safe. This is why it is so important to calm and balance your nervous system in order to move forward in your life with ease and grace—no matter what the circumstances of life present (like a 2 month quarantine…).
Leading yourself may already be challenging enough without the present state of the world. Staying in a space of self-awareness, self-reflection and maintaining motivation and inspiration to move forward are difficult feats on a good day. Put a dose of uncertainty and the major stressors that we are all facing at this time on top of your everyday challenges and you might feel as though you’ve become stagnant, defeated, or worse, you might be backsliding. This is a normal part of the change process and it is times like these that we have the ability to build resilience and grow.
One way to live with intention is to create opportunities to choose how you want to feel. You might feel like you are stuck with whatever emotion you are experiencing in the moment during these times. You might feel like you don’t have a choice or option and you can either just push through, dwell in it, or avoid it through emotional repression. This does not have to be the case. While you want to assess and understand whatever emotion you may be experiencing, that does not mean you are stuck with it and that you don’t have the power within yourself to manage it more effectively. Ultimately, you get to choose how you want to feel and always could choose another emotion.
Imagine you wake up and immediately feel anxious, fearful and uncertain. Then you find yourself moving through your day with stress hormones flooding your system, feeling more and more stressed out. Living with intention allows you to choose in the moment a new way to experience the present moment. Here are the steps to intentionally create a new emotional experience, a new way to choose to live within your present moment.
1. Acknowledge and name the emotion you are experiencing.
2. Ask if this is a true or useful experience of the present moment? Be curious about the message this emotion has for you.
3. Use a coping skill to understand and manage the emotion.
4. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel today?
5. Ask yourself: What 3 things can I do to help myself create this/these feeling(s)?
6. Set the intention to use these action steps to help create this internal emotional/feeling experience within you.
7. Receive self or external accountability. For self-accountability, write down when you are going to take these actions to help create these feelings within. Put reminders on your phone or use sticky notes where you will see them. Reflect at the end of the day on how these actions allowed you feel. For external accountability, tell someone who supports you what your intentions are for the day and ask for support, reminders or anything else that will allow this person to give you the inspiration you need to move forward and take action.
8. Reflect on your process. How did it go? Was it effective? What will you do tomorrow to ensure that you set up your day in a way that allows you to feel how you want to feel?
Here is an example:
1. Acknowledge and name the emotion. Presently I feel anxious and stressed.
2. Is this a true representation of the present moment, is it useful right now? No. The message of my anxiety is feeling overwhelmed and uncertain. I acknowledge that these feelings are related to fear based thoughts.
3. Coping skill I can use: deep breathing and a body scan to calm my nervous system and relax my body.
4. How do I want to feel? Strong, focused and hopeful.
5. Actions I can to take to create these feelings: Strong: exercise and stay mentally strong by addressing any anxiety with thought examination technique. Focused: get 3 work tasks completed, cook a nourishing meal for dinner and spend time reading. Hopeful: use my gratitude journal, focus on what is going well and reflect on the positives of my day.
6. Set the intention to take these action steps: Today I set the intention to feel strong, focused and hopeful..
7. I will use self-accountability by writing specifically in my planner when I will complete these actions in order to ensure that I follow through and picture myself taking these actions.
8. How did it go? When I completed each of the actions and reconnected with my intentions for the day I increased those feelings within and created the experience within that I desired. This also improved my feelings of being hopeful and feeling strong and capable. I feel more mentally balanced and calm.
Often, we know what to do, but unfortunately it can be challenging to follow through. Making ourselves a priority can be tough. Feeling anxious, fearful and uncertain makes us feel out of control. These feelings create internal confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed and make it more challenging to think clearly and to focus. That’s why this process is so valuable to work through every single day.
We are all just trying to do the best we can with what we have. If it feels like the best you can has not been working out well, that is where you can search for the accountability you need, either from within or externally. Each time you follow through with setting your intentions and following the actions needed to create the way you want to feel, you will improve your self-esteem. The more that you value yourself and feel good about yourself the more you will build inner inspiration and motivation to continue moving forward. So now is the time to get started! What is your intention for the rest of your day today? How do you want to feel?